My Depot Lupron Conundrum

     I don't want to do 3 months of Depot Lupron injections. There, I said it. I wish the decision was that simple. Today is the one day of the week that I decided to relax and do absolutely nothing. No homework, no housecleaning..I'm refusing to even walk the dog today. So, naturally, because I always need something to occupy my mind and elicit some sort of anxiety, I decided to focus on my upcoming Depot Lupron injections.

     To catch you up, Dr. Wang at SIRM CT recommended that I have the Endometrial Function Test (EFT) performed. You can read more about that here. My results showed that I had a high level of "Glandular Developmental Arrest," or GDA. Basically, this is corrected with three months of Depot Lupron injections.

    This is really fucking bad for several reasons. 1) Apparently Depot Lupron has been pulled from the market in several other countries because of the severity of its side effects. And we aren't talking just about the fact this it puts you into menopause. I mean things like cancer, chronic bone diseases, etc. Sounds fan-fucking-tastic. Of course there are many, many women who are just fine, but still. I don't exactly fall on the upside of odds as evidenced by my current bullshit situation.

    Second, we had our chemical in November. In December I didn't ovulate. In January I did the EFT. This month I cycled and for the next three months I'll be sticking myself with the menopause juice. In total, 6 months on the fucking bench. It's really horrifying to think that I will turn 33 in September. We started trying when I was 30. We still don't have a baby.

     This leads me to my major issue: I kind of want to try on our own for several months. Because of an underlying metabolic disorder, we sought treatment after 6 months of trying. That was fortuitous because I had Celiac and the septum. However, between all of the testing and cycling, we've only managed to try on our own for a total of 10 months. Only 1 month of which was after my big issues were solved. I kind of feel like we could have stuck it out longer. Plus, I am sick of feeling like I am spinning my wheels. The EFT and subsequent treatment is controversial at best. Am I doing the right thing by putting everything on hold for three months? Would I be doing the right thing by trying on our own? Should we do an FET with the embryos from this cycle (that are hopefully still growing) and implement Dr. KKs plan and see how it goes? Will I regret it if it is a BFN or winds up in another chemical? I hate not knowing the right path to take.

    To make matters worse, there is next to no research on this. My RE has quite a bit of ancedotal evidence showing that there is success with this protocol, but where is the scientific evidence to back this up? More specifically, where is the scientific evidence of this that isn't written by Dr. Kliman himself, the founder of the EFT? Along with this line of questioning, the population that actually requires this treatment is so small, and, quite frankly, if you make it to this point in your journey, are you willing to sacrifice potential success by participating in a study where you may wind up with a placebo treatment, or in a control group? Likely not.

     Between this, my emerging anger over my situation, and the fact that I have no damn clue about what course of treatment to take, my therapist will be hearing an earful.

    To quote Vince Vaughn and Wedding Crashers -  "I'm gonna go see Dr. Finklestein and I'm gonna tell him we have a whole new bag of issues. We can forget about mom for a while."