I cannot believe it is 2016. I cannot believe that we started trying in 2014, which, I realize, is nothing compared to many couples.

      I made a conscious decision to minimize our celebration of the holidays. My dad decided to help with that endeavor by having a "heart event" that resulted in a double bypass and a holiday hospitalization. He's doing well and recuperating at home, and I thank him for going to such great lengths to help me forget that yet another joyous holiday season was upon us - sans baby. So, thanks dad! ;-) 

     There have been several years during which my husband and I have stated, on New Years Eve, that "next year may be the year we finally have a baby!" Every year has resulted in nothing. So, this year we made a mindful decision to not say those types of things, because we know how quickly time goes by when you are living cycle-to-cycle, and how painful it is when yet another year has gone by.

     New Years Day we found ourselves out to an early dinner at our local Chinese food joint. I hopped into bed and it was 11:59pm on the dot. I just said "fuck 2015," pulled the covers over my head, closed my eyes tight and tried to ignore the celebratory fireworks in the distance.

 Despite the immense challenges 2015 brought, I'm super grateful for my (overall) health, the health of my family and friends, and that we received coverage for IVF medications. So, even though it didn't bring us our baby, it wasn't a total loss. Going forward, we hope to

 So, for 2016, I have made no resolutions. I have learned my lesson and no longer have high hopes. Instead, I'm hoping to focus on the present, maintain mindfulness, and revel in the little victories that are thrown our way. For better or for worse, we have made it another year in Infertility Land, so cheers to that and Happy 2016!!!!

    How did you celebrate the New Year? What are your goals for 2016?